With the growth of technology we have become an instant gratification society. One stop shopping all at the push of a button. All without leaving the comforts of home. You can now go to online to order electronics, movies and music, and even groceries. It was only a matter of time before technology changed the way we sought out relationships. We've gotten extremely lazy. We've traded personal communication and the face to face encounter for interpersonal communication and hiding behind a computer screen. We've spawned a generation of online warriors who can only generate social confidence when interacting through emails and instant messages. Day in and day out peolple are creating profiles in an attempt to construct their own social reality choosing to be the person they "create" online over who they are in reality. With online options added to the mix this could weaken one's resolve to seek a potiental date when out and about. Some become so fixated with online dating that it becomes their primary, and in some cases, their only way of socializing. This in turn leaves most online daters socially awkward when it comes to a natural real world encounter.
What's natural about "dating" online? Not much. Ever heard of catfish stories? And no, not the time your uncle caught the big one, but people online pretending to be someone else. First let me define a catfish for you. A "catfish" is a person who creates a false identity on the internet in hopes of luring people into romantic relationships. Why create a false identity? Revenge, loneliness, curiosity, and boredom are usually the main contributing factors. The biggest catfish story in the news as of late was of course, Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te'o and his two year online relationship with a girl he'd never met in person. The girl never existed and the person he was communicating with for those two years ended up being a male family friend. Most people I talked to that are online daters say if they do meet someone from the internet in person, that person has usually misrepresented themselves. They don't look like their picture, their personality doesn't match their email conversations, or they don't actually have or do the things they said they did in their profile. Also, you can pull a picture from anywhere on the internet and make a profile using that picture. I don't see how you can develop a deep relationship with someone you've never met. It doesn't matter how long you communicate over the phone or through emails. To get to really know a person you have to see them in an array of different social settings.
I feel many lack the patience it takes to actually get to know someone. It takes anywhere from one to two moths to get a good handle on who a preson is. Most seem to want to skip the getting to know you phase and enter right into the long term relationship phase. An online profile is not a shortcut to getting to know someone. And what do you really learn? You spend months, if not years, getting to know someone online then you meet them face to face and the chemistry doesn't match what you had online. What's the next step? Back to browse the profiles and start over? I think meeting people the old fashioned way (while you're out) is still the best way. At the very least you get to see who you're investing time and energy into. You also get to find out right away if you have any chemistry or not. You have to spend time with someone in person, not talking on the phone or through emails. That being said, there are still many that swear by online dating.
Why is online dating so appealing? A lot of people i've interviewed say they don't have time to meet people and date, online dating makes it convient and easier. How is this possible that no one has time? Whenever you go out into the world there is an opportunity to make a connection. A chance encounter at a grocery store? A stranger flashes you a smile while in line waiting for coffee? A conversation had with someone while waiting for public transportation? All viable options You just have to keep your eyes and heart open. If you have time to look at profiles and answer emails, you have time to go out into the world. I think most people who do online dating may be a little awkward when it comes to romantic social situations so they choose to go online because they feel it's safer. Although i'm not a fan of online dating I do recognize that i'm in the minority.
There are 54 million single people in the United States. Out of that 54 million, 40 have tried online dating. 52.4 % of users are men, compared to 47.6% among women. There are 20 million members total on E Harmony and 15 million on Match.com alone. The annual revenue from the online dating industry is a staggering 1.049 billion dollars. The masses are seeking love relationships and will spare no expense if it gets them closer to finding that ever elusive perfect match. But can you find love online? The statistics I just listed shows that there are many who believe you can. I, on the othe hand, am on the opposing side of that argument. I understand the desire for love. It's a basic human need to want to connect with someone. We all have that need on some level. But is a real human connection made through characters on a keyboard? I argue that it's not. I know most people who are online dating believe their odds are better because there are millions of people in the databases of these dating sites but there are even more right outside your door. Cut off the computer and go outside people
